1.   Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2.   Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3.   Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4.   Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5.   Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6.   Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7.   Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.   Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.

9.   Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning bloodsucking creatures'.

10.   Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

You know you're from Canada when ...

1.   You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

2.   You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

3.   Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

4.   You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

5.   Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

6.   You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

7.   The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

8.   You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

9.   You find -40C a little chilly.

10. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.

11. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.

12. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

13. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".