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You try to enter your password on the microwave.
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You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
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You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
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You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
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You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year.
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Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
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Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
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You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
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When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
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When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
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Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
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You really get excited about a 1.7% pay raise.
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Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
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Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
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Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
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It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
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You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.
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Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
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You see a good looking; smart person and you know it must be a visitor.
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Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
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Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
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Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
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You're already late on the assignment you just got.
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There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
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Vacation time is something you roll over to next year.
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Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WORKED THERE is leaving.
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Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
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You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
