New Virus Listing

CLINTON VIRUS: 
Gives you a 7-inch hard drive with no memory.

VIAGRA VIRUS:
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

LEWINSKY VIRUS:
 Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did. Very effective on laptops.

RONALDREAGAN VIRUS: 
Saves your data but forgets where it's stored.

MIKETYSON VIRUS: 
Quits after two bytes.

OPRAHWINFREY VIRUS: 
Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

JACKKEVORKIAN VIRUS: 
Deletes all old files.

ELLENDEGENERES VIRUS: 
Disks can no longer be inserted.

TITANICVIRUS: 
(A strain of the Lewinsky virus.) Your whole computer goes down.  (but I think "we go on.")

DISNEYVIRUS: 
Every thing in your computer goes goofy.

PROZACVIRUS: 
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEYBUTTAFUOCO VIRUS: 
Only attacks minor files.

ANRNOLDSCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: 
Terminates some files, but it leaves and comes BAAAACK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: 
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.